Girls I've Met

I knew a girl called Jeannie Jones
She was nothing but skin and bones
I knew a girl called Janie Scott
She had bumps where Jean had not
I knew a girl called Susie Strong
Her feet were large and her legs were long
Her feet were so large it is said
She had to take her pants off over her head

I'm talking about Girls Girls I met
Ice is cold and waters wet
Up is up and feathers is down
That's what makes the world go round

I knew a girl called Droopy Drawers
Her ears stuck out like taxi doors
Tall as a pole and thin as a candle
Hard to please but easy to handle
Took her out in the wind and rain
She blew round like a weather vane
By the fire, warm and snug
Melted her upon the rug

I'm talking about Girls Girls I've known
Oats I've scattered, seeds I've sown
Up is in and down is out
You all know what I'm talking about

I knew a girl called Jennifer Goafer
She had hips like a well stuffed sofa
If she sat on you she'd squash you flat
I sure kept out of THAT
She was buxom, big and round
Gave good value, pound for pound
Like a mountaineer, upon a climb
I conquered her a bit at a time

I'm talking about Girls Girls I've seen
Faces I've known and places I've been
Tales I've told and songs I've sang
That's what makes the world go bang

I knew a girl called Big-time Bella
'Til I found out she was a fellah
We parted friends and everything
But he never sent back that engagement ring
I knew a girl called Topsy Turvy she was cute and she was curvy
She was sweet and she was sunny now I'm paying her alimony

I'm talking about Girls Girls I've known
Birds have nested, and have flown
Black or white or pink or brown
That's what makes the world go round!