Blow The Man Down

Come all ye young fellows that follows the sea
To me, way hey, blow the man down
Now please pay attention and listen to me
Give me some time to blow the man down

I'm a deep water sailor just come from Hong Kong
You give me some whiskey, I'll sing you a song
When a trim Black Ball liner's preparing for sea
On a trim Black Ball liner I wasted me prime

When a trim Black Ball liner preparing for sea
You'll split your sides laughing such sights you would see
There's tinkers and tailors, shoemakers and all
They're all shipped for sailors aboard the Black Ball

When a big Black Ball liner's a-leaving her dock
The boys and the girls on the pier-head do flock
Now, when the big liner, she's clear of land
Our bosun he roars out the word of command

Come quickly, lay aft to the break of the poop
Or I'll help you along with the toe of me boot
Pay attention to orders, now, you one and all
For see high above there flies the Black Ball
'Tis larboard and starboard, on deck you will sprawl
For kicking Jack Rogers commands the Black Ball

(Why Did I Tell You I Was Going To) Shanghai

Who's gonna kiss me who's gonna thrill me who's gonna hold me tight tonight
Why did I tell you I was going to Shanghai I want to be with you tonight
Why did I holler I was going to Shanghai I want to be with you tonight
It was just a little misunderstanding that a kiss on the cheek could patch
I need you so badly I'd gladly start all over from scratch

Why did I tell you it was bye-bye for Shanghai I'm even allergic to rice
Why don't you stop me when I talk about Shanghai it's just a lover's device
Now who's gonna kiss me who's gonna thrill me who's gonna hold me tight
I'm right around the corner in the phone booth and I wanna be with you tonight

Now why did I tell you it was bye-bye for Shanghai I'm even allergic to rice
Why don't you stop me when I talk about Shanghai it's just a lovers device
Now who's gonna kiss me who's gonna thrill me who's gonna hold me tight
I'm right around the corner in the phone booth and I wanna be with you tonight
Who's gonna kiss me who's gonna thrill me who's gonna hold me tight
I'm right around the corner in the phone booth and I wanna be with you tonight

The Bastard King Of England

Now the minstrels sing of an English king of many long years ago

He ruled his land with an iron hand though his morals were weak and low

His only other garment was a dirty yeller shirt

With which he tried to hide his hide but he couldn't hide the dirt.

He was dirty and lousy and full of fleas

But he had his women by twos and threes

God bless the Bastard King of England.

Now the Queen of Spain was an amorous Jane

A lascivious wench was she

She longed to play in her loving way with the king across the sea

So she sent a royal message with a royal messenger

To invite the King of England down to spend the night with her.

Well when Phillip of France he heard it by chance He declared before his court,

"The Queen prefers my rival just because I'm somewhat short."

So he sent the Count of Zippity-Zap to give to the Queen a dose of clap

To pass it on to the Bastard King of England.

When the King of England heard the news He cursed the Gallic farce

He up and swore by the royal whore he'd have the Frenchman's arse

He offered half the royal purse and a piece of Queen Hortense

To any British subject who'd undo the King of France.

So the Earl of Sussex jumped on his horse and straightway rode to France

Where he made a pass and he stripped the sash from Phillip's pajama pants

And in front of a throng he slipped on a thong leaped on his horse and galloped along

Draggin' the Frenchman back to merry England.

When the King of England he saw the sight he felt in a faint on the floor

For during the ride his rival's hide was stretched a yard or more

And all the maids of England came down to London town

And shouted 'round the battlements, "To hell with the British crown."

So Phillip of France usurped the throne His scepter was the royal bone

With which he bitched the Bastard King of England.

I Will Give My Love An Apple

I will give my love an apple without any core
I will give my love a house without any door
I will give my love a palace wherein he may be
And he may unlock it without any key

My head is the apple without any core
My mind is the house without any door
My heart is the palace wherein he may be
And he may unlock it without any key

I will give my love an apple without any core
I will give my love a house without any door
I will give my love a palace wherein he may be
And he may unlock it without any key

John Barleycorn

There were three men came out of the west, their fortunes for to try
And these three men made a solemn vow John Barleycorn must die
They've plowed, they've sown, they've harrowed him in threw clods upon his head
And these three men made a solemn vow John Barleycorn was dead

They've let him lie for a very long time, 'til the rains from heaven did fall
And little Sir John sprung up his head and so amazed them all
They've let him stand 'til midsummer's day 'til he looked both pale and wan
And little Sir John's grown a long long beard and so become a man
They've hired men with their scythes so sharp to cut him off at the knee
They've rolled him and tied him by the way, serving him most barbarously
They've hired men with their sharp pitchforks who've pricked him to the heart
And the loader he has served him worse than that for he's bound him to the cart

They've wheeled him around and around a field 'til they came onto a pond
And there they made a solemn oath on poor John Barleycorn
They've hired men with their crabtree sticks to cut him skin from bone
And the miller he has served him worse than that for he's ground him between two stones

And little Sir John and the nut brown bowl and his brandy in the glass
And little Sir John and the nut brown bowl proved the strongest man at last
The huntsman he can't hunt the fox nor so loudly to blow his horn
And the tinker he can't mend kettle or pots without a little barleycorn

Monkey Magic

Born from an egg on a mountain top
The punkiest monkey that ever popped
He knew every magic trick under the sun
To tease the Gods and everyone and have some fun
Monkey magic, monkey magic
Monkey magic, monkey magic
Monkey magic, monkey magic
Monkey magic, monkey magic

What a cocky saucy monkey this one is
All the Gods were angered and they punished him
Until he was saved by a kindly priest
And that was the start of their pilgrimage west
Monkey magic, monkey magic
Monkey magic, monkey magic
Monkey magic, monkey magic
Monkey magic, monkey magic

With a little bit of monkey magic there'll be fireworks tonight
With a little bit of monkey magic everything will be all right
Born from an egg on a mountain top 
The punkiest monkey that ever popped
He knew every magic trick under the sun
To tease the Gods and everyone and have some fun
Monkey magic, monkey magic
Monkey magic, monkey magic
Monkey magic, monkey magic
Monkey magic, monkey magic

Dearg Doom/She Moved Through The Fair

My love is colder than black marble by the sea. 
My heart is older than the cold oak tree. 
I am the flash of silver in the sun. 
When you see me coming you had better run run run from Dearg Doom. 

You speak in whispers of the devils I have slain 
By the fire of my silver Devil’s Blade, 
And still you dare to flaunt yourself at me. 
I don't want you, I don't need you, 
I don't love you, can't you see  I'm Dearg Doom. 

And when the stars go out you can hear me shout 
Two heads are better than none one hundred heads are so much better than one 
I'm a boy who was born blind to pain 
And, like a hawk, I'll swoop and swoop again. 
I am the flash of hawkeye in the sun. 
When you see me coming you had run run run from Dearg Doom

She Moved Through The Fair

My love said to me My Mother won't mind

And My Father won't slight you for your lack of kind

Then she stepped away from me and this she did say

It will not be long love until our wedding day.

She stepped away from me and she moved through the Fair

And fondly I watched her move here and move there

And she went her way homeward with one star awake

As the swans in the evening move over the lake

The people were saying no two e'er were wed

But one has a sorrow that never was said

And she smiled as she passed me with her goods and her gear

And that was the last that I saw of my dear.

I dreamed it last night that my true love came in

So softly she entered her feet made no din

She came close beside me and this she did say

It will not be long love until our wedding day.

She Moved Through The Fair

My love said to me My Mother won't mind
And me Father won't slight you for your lack of kind
Then she stepped away from me and this she did say
It will not be long love until our wedding day.

She stepped away from me and she moved through the Fair
And fondly I watched her move here and move there
And she went her way homeward with one star awake
As the swans in the evening move over the lake

The people were saying no two e'er were wed
But one has a sorrow that never was said
And she smiled as she passed me with her goods and her gear
And that was the last that I saw of my dear.

I dreamed it last night that my true love came in
So softly she entered her feet made no din
She came close beside me and this she did say
It will not be long love until our wedding day.

Scarborough Fair

Are you going to Scarborough Fair?

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Remember me to one who lives there

For once she was a true love of mine

Have her make me a cambric shirt

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Without no seam nor fine needle work

And then she'll be a true love of mine

Tell her to weave it in a sycamore wood lane

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

And gather it all with a basket of flowers

And then she'll be a true love of mine

Have her wash it in yonder dry well

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

where water ne'er sprung nor drop of rain fell

And then she'll be a true love of mine

Have her find me an acre of land

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Between the sea foam and over the sand

And then she'll be a true love of mine

Plow the land with the horn of a lamb

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Then sow some seeds from north of the dam

And then she'll be a true love of mine

Tell her to reap it with a sickle of leather

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

And gather it all in a bunch of heather

And then she'll be a true love of mine

If she tells me she can't, I'll reply

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Let me know that at least she will try

And then she'll be a true love of mine

Love imposes impossible tasks

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Though not more than any heart asks

And I must know she's a true love of mine

Dear, when thou has finished thy task

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Come to me, my hand for to ask

For thou then art a true love of mine

I Like Trucking

I like trucking, I like trucking,
I like trucking and I like to truck.
I like trucking, I like trucking,
If you don't like trucking, tough luck.

On the road, you must be brave and tireless,
On the road, you can listen to the wireless,
On the road, you eat café food with pride,
You can throw it up outside.
The greatest kick in trucking, apart from knocking down a biker,
Is swinging round a roundabout and picking up a hiker,
You're chatting up that piece of skirt who's sitting by your side,
Then pop the crucial question - a ride for a ride?

Perhaps the greatest laugh of all, that makes this life worthwhile,
Is waving on the car behind, giving him a smile,
With glasses and with gratitude, he revs his little load,
And meets another trucking truck, a-trucking down the road.
On the road, you must be tough and ruthless,
And the rumours that we're gay are truthless,
On the road, you can wear your shirtsleeves rolled,
You eat chocolate when it's cold.
From behind, we like to sneak up on you from behind,
Never mind, if you hit 'em never mind.
We like trucking, we like trucking,
We like trucking and we like to truck.
We like trucking, we like trucking,
If you don't like trucking, tough luck.

England, My Leotard

I was into yin and yang and hatha yoga
Ginseng and caraway seeds and being a non-smoker
My carrot quiches were better than the bought ones
And I was thicker than two short ones
People bought my latest hits cos they liked my latex tits
Everyone trying hard to get inside my leotard

Went to my hairdresser to have a hair-do
He asked if I knew A La Recherche De Temps Perdus
That's how I was introduced to Colette, Cocteau and Marcel Proust
Now wholefood cookery is just a sideline

I went to Cairo and I read the Gnostic Apocryphon of John in the original Coptic
Korsakoff's psychosis theories and the Fibonacci series
Studied acupuncture and the Bible opened the windows in my mind
It's not your mind, it's your body they're into my business-manager said.
He said that I need an intellect like I need a hole hole in the in the hole in the head
Though I'm an honorary member of Mensa now 
I have to try and keep up a pretence somehow
Cos you buy my latest hits
Because you like my latex tits
And you're all trying hard to get inside my leotard leotard leotard
England, my leotard

I Believe

I believe that life is happy and death is sad.
I believe my mum was married to my dad.
I believe that things that aren't good tend to be bad.
I believe I believe.

I'm prepared to believe that Nixon wasn't a crook.
I'm prepared to believe love story is a readable book.
I believe that "The Dirty Dozen" weren't really dirty.
I believe that Lucille Ball is still under 30.
I believe Gerald Ford is clever that Bob Hope will live forever.
And that lever [lee-ver] is pronounced leh-ver.
And the best film ever made is "Saturday Night Feh-ver!"

I am prepared to say Col. Sanders can fry!
And that pigs and even DC-10s can fly!
I'm prepared to believe that things go better with Coke.
And that the Ayatollah tells a darn good knock-knock joke.
I believe that some folks can hear what Bugs Bunny is saying.
And that Salt Lake City is a real nice place to stay in.
I believe that J.R. really loves Sue Ellen I believe that things sound better when you're yelling!
And I believe that the devil is ready to repent but I can't believe Ronald Reagan is president!

I Love Bouncing

I love bouncing,boing, boing, boing
Up and down until I get a pain in me groin
I try to be happy and when it really counts
I turn into a rubber ball and bounce, bounce, bounce!

Bouncing down the club with this bird named Dennis,
I said to her in passing I was pretty good at tennis
She looked me up and down and said "It doesn't need announcing
Judging by the way your balls are bouncing!"

I get up in the morning and I bounce around the bed,
If me mum comes in to wake me up I bounce on her instead.
When I'm in the bathroom I bounce around the bath
But you want to try to shit and bounce that's really quite a laugh

The Ronnie Reagan Song

(Ronald Reagan)  
The winds are blowing cold tonight, along the Kansas trail, 
The coyotes are howling, and there's varmints on my tail. 
But when I'm feeling lonesome, like I was just knee high, 
I sit me down beside the fire, alone beneath the sky: 
Just me, my old guitar, and God!


(Chorus) 
Just him, his old guitar, and God!


(Ronald Reagan)  
But life ain't quite so simple now, like what it was before, 
Well there's questions to be answered, there's strangers at the door. 
But when I'm feeling crowded, by those little men from Mars, 
I sit me down beside the fire, alone beneath the stars: 
Just me, my old guitar...


(Nancy Reagan)  
Oh yoo-hoo!


(Ronald Reagan)  
...And Nancy! Heh-heh-heh!


(Chorus)  
Just him! His old guitar! God! And Nancy!


(Ronald Reagan)  
Abe Lincoln died of syphilis, and Jesus was a Jew, 
The say God isn't married, I pray that that's not true. 
But when the world's plum-crazy, I play a country tune, (Yee-Haa!) 
I sit me down beside the fire, alone beneath the moon: 
Just me, my old guitar...


(President's Aides) 
Hah!


(Ronald Reagan)  
And those turkeys! Heh-heh!


(Chorus) 
Just him! His old guitar! God! Nancy! And the President's security, publicity, medical and catering team!


(Ronald Reagan)  
I tried to do the best I could, I try to make a stand, 
Folks keep saying things to me I just don't understand. 
So when things get on top of me, and streets are full of cars, 
I sit me down beside the fire, alone beneath the stars: 
Just me, this old box! Heh! Oh, and Burke!


(Chorus) 
Just him! His old guitar! God! Nancy! And the President's security, publicity, medical and catering team and the black briefcase that follows him around everywhere he goes so that he can launch a nuclear war!


(Ronald Reagan)  
Oh, and I forgot the band!


(Band) 
Woo-hoo!

Mad

Michael: I'm bigger than Bruce , Sexier than Madonna !
But people are saying, That my brain's a goner!
I can outsing  Prince, I can outdance Astaire !
But still people wonder, If I'm really all there ?
Well' For a couple of years, I've been reclusive , But now the proof is quite conclusive!
"I'M MAD! (Mad !) MAD! (Mad!) Owe!  
I'm completely round the bend! Wow! 
"I'M MAD! (Mad!) MAD! (Mad!)  
"A hamster's my best friend !"

I'm off my head, I've lost my marbles, I live forever, in plastic bubbles ! (cough!) 
And as for the bits they cut off of me...
They're now recording their own LP !
Chorus: "He's mad, he's mad!" Wow!
Jackson: "I got fruit-cake in the brain!"
Chorus: "I'm mad, (Mad!) Mad! (Mad!)
Jackson: "I make Reagan look quite sane !

At the age of three, I made so much lolly! Wow!
It's not surprising I've gone off my trolley!
I live with puppets ! I'm off the rails! (Whoo Whoo!)
I'm even barnier than the Prince of Wales !
Michael: Who's mad?! Chorus: "Who's mad?
Michael: Who's mad?! Chorus: "Who's mad?
Michael: Who's mad?!
Surgeon: "You are, Mr. Jackson."
Jackson: "Now I'm bad, (Bad) it's bad
I guess you heard the news.
I'm mad, (Bad!) I'm bad (Bad!) Cuss white men can't sing the blues...
I'm bad, (mm-hmm) I'm mad, (Yes) and I'm sad, (mm-hmm)
I'm not much good anymore...
Surgeon: "Yes, jolly good, come along now Mr. Jackson."
Jackson: "Now I'm mad."
Surgeon: "Yes, of course you are!"
Jackson: "I'm Mickey Mouse !"
Surgeon: "Yes, you certainly do sound like him, don't you?"

Heavy Metal Song

I'm the seventh son of Satan but the devil threw me out
He said I was too evil when he heard me scream and shout
So I joined a heavy metal band and stormed the gates of hell
We signed a pact with Lucifer, he promised not to tell...
That we really come from Sheffield and our average age is over 35
He's Thor the Mighty Ramrod, but when he's with his mum, she calls him Clive
I've seen a naked woman - She was his sister, he was five

Now the Pentecostal Priestess was down upon her knees
She was lookin' at my love gun, I heard her saying "please"
Gonna tie you up in chains, babe, and whip you 'til you pout
He's always fancied Sharon, but he's scared to ask her out
Because we really come from Sheffield and in fact he's only five foot three
He always phones the neighbours when he thinks we might be on TV
I take a lot of drugs - They're for his asthma allergy

"Where's the catarrh solo?"

We're Scared Of Bob

(Tina Turner)
Once in a while, comes a call for you and me
(Michael Jackson)
It's a call to which we must respond
(Bob Dylan)
We may be stars but we got feelings too
(Mick Jagger)
And there's one thing on which we're all agreed
(Bruce Springsteen)
We're scared of Bob
(Tina Turner)
We're scared of Geldof
(Bruce Springsteen)
We are the ones he screams at like fools
(All)
So let's start singing

(David Bowie)
The cause is just that cannot be denied
(Tina Turner)
But does he have to make us so petrified
(Wrong numbers)
Some of us here you may not recognise
Because in truth we really don't belong
But when Bob called us up we didn't have the guts
To tell him the number he dialled was wrong
(Bruce Springsteen)
We're scared of Bob
(All)
We're scared of Geldof
(Bruce Springsteen)
We're scared that if we try to turn him down we'd all get yelled at

(Cyndi Lauper)
Of course I'm nervous and you'd be jumpy too
If Bob had had a word with you
(All)
We're scared of Bob that's why we're singing
(Madonna & Prince)
We get the jitters everytime we hear the phone start ringing
(All)
We're scared of Bob we're really frightened,
And when we hear that Irish voice our sphincters all get tightened

I've Never Met A Nice South African

(Traveller)
I've travelled this old world of ours from Barnsley to Peru, 
I've had sunstroke in the arctic and a swim in Timbuktu, 
I've seen unicorns in Burma and a Yeti in Nepal, 
And I've danced with ten-foot pygmies in a Montezuma hall, 
I've met the King of China and a working Yorkshire miner, 
But I've never met a nice South African!

(Chorus) 
No he's never met a nice South African, 
And that's not bloody surprising man, 
'Cause we're a bunch of arrogant bastards who hate black people!

(Traveller) 
I once got served in Woolies after less than four week's wait, 
I had lunch with Rowan Atkinson when he paid and wasn't late, 
I know a public swimming bath where they don't piss in the pool, 
I know a guy who got a job straight after leaving school, 
I've met a normal merman and a fairly modest German, 
But I've never met a nice South African! 

(Chorus) 
No he's never met a nice South African,  
And that's not bloody surprising man, 
'Cause we're a bunch of talentless murderers who smell like baboons!

(Traveller) 
I've had a Close Encounter of the Twenty-Second Kind, 
That's when an alien spaceship disappears up your behind, 
I got directory enquiries after less than forty rings,  
I've even heard a decent song by Paul McCartney's Wings,  
I've seen a flying pig in a quite convincing wig, 
But I've never met a nice South African!

(Chorus) 
No he's never met a nice South African,  
And that's not bloody surprising man, 
'Cause we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths with no sense of humour!

(Traveller) 
I've met the Loch Ness Monster and he looks like Fred Astaire,  
At the BBC in London he's the Chief Commissionaire, 
I know a place in Glasgow which is rife with daffodillies, 
I met a man in Kathmandu who claimed to have two willies,  
I've had a nice pot noodle, but I've never had a poodle, 
And I've never met a nice South African! 

(Chorus) 
No he's never met a nice South African, 
And that's not bloody surprising man, 
Because we've never met one either,  
Except for Breyten Breytenbach and he's emigrated to Paris...  
Yes he's quite a nice South African,  
And he's hardly ever killed anyone,  
And he's not smelly at all, that's why they put him prison!

My God Is Bigger Than Your God

(Reverend Billy Graham) 
My God is my special friend, 
He’ll guide me to my journey’s end. 
He’s in my every thought, 
My God really packs them in at Earl's Court, 'cos:

(Congregation) 
Our God is bigger than your God! 
Our God is just in a different class! 
Our God’s bigger than your God! 
Our God would whoop your God’s ass!

(Archbishop Robert Runcie) 
My God runs the entire globe, insists I wear this silly robe!
(Pope John Paul II) 
My God says never take the pill!
(IRA Terrorist) 
My God says that it’s fine to kill…
(Reverend Ian Paisley) 
Our God’s bigger than your God! 
And I think our God is usually right!

(Reverend Jesse Jackson) 
My God says love thy neighbour!
(P.W. Botha) 
As long as thy neighbour is white! 
Get down!
(Catholics) 
Our God’s a Roman Catholic God that’s why we’ve got a Polish Pope!
(Rastafarians) 
Our God don’t do much at all, He’s too busy smokin’ dope!
(Jews) 
Our God makes us cut our foreskins, pork we mustn’t cook!
(Muslims) 
Our God says to be merciful, but you’re dead if you wrote this book!

(Chief Constable James Anderton) 
And now, the Reverend Jim Bakker will lead us in prayer!
(Reverend Jim Bakker) 
Lord! Can you hear me Lord? Are you there Lord? 
Give me a sign Lord if you’re looking down on this poor sinner! 
Okay, nearly there! Get your panties off!

(Mary Whitehouse) 
My God says that love is sacred, so you mustn’t go on telly naked! Oh!
(Neil Kinnock) 
I’m not sure, does my God exist?
(Mikhail Gorbachev) 
If He does, I bet He’s an atheist! 
(Neil Kinnock) 
Oh! Bugger me!
(Thatcher's Cabinet) 
Our God’s bigger than your God!

(Hindus) 
No no, we refuse to believe that’s true! 
Our God says the Cow is holy!
(Thatcher's Cabinet) 
Well our Cow is holy too!
(Reverend Billy Graham) 
Last time!

(Congregation) 
Our God’s bigger than your God! 
Our God is gonna send you to Hell! 
Our God’s bigger than your God! 
Our God thinks your God’s all smell!

(Ensemble) 
Our God’s bigger than your God, 
Nicer than your God, wahoooo!
Our God’s brighter than your God! 
Exciting-er than your God, wahoooo!
Our God’s fresher than your God, 
Cleaner than your God, wahoooo!
Our God’s clapper than your God, 
More groovy than your God, wahoooo!
Our God’s sweeter than your God, 
Sexier than your God, wahoooo!
Our God’s tougher than your God, 
More superior than your God, wahoooo!

(God) 
OH SHUT UP FOR GOD’S SAKE! 
SORRY, I HAVEN’T BEEN VERY WELL

The Chicken Song

Its the time of year now that Spring is in the air
When those two wet gits with their girly curly hair
Make another song for moronic holidays
That nauseate in a million different ways
From the shores of Spain to the coast of Southern France
No matter where you hide you just can't escape this dance

Hold a chicken in the air stick a deckchair up your nose
Buy a jumbo jet and then bury all your clothes
Paint your left knee green then extract your wisdom teeth
Form a string quartet and pretend your name is Keith
Skin yourself alive learn to speak Arapahoe
Climb inside a dog and behead an eskimo
Eat a Renault Four with salami in your ears
Casserole your gran disembowel yourself with spears

The disco is vibrating the sound is loud and grating its truly nauseating let's do the dance again
Hold a chicken in the air stick a deckchair up your nose
You'll hear this song in the holiday discos and there's no escape in the clubs or in the bars
You would hear this song if you holidayed in Mars
Skin yourself alive learn to speak Arapahoe
Climb inside a dog and behead an eskimo
Now you've heard it once your brain will spring a leak
And though you hate this song you'll be humming it for weeks
Hold a chicken in the air stick a deckchair up your nose
Buy a jumbo jet and then bury all your clothes

September Song

When I was a young man courting the girls I played me a waiting game
If a maid refused me with tossing curls I'd let the old Earth make a couple of whirls
While I plied her with tears in lieu of pearls and as time came around she came my way
As time came around, she came

When you meet with the young girls early in the Spring
You court them in song and rhyme they answer with words and a clover ring
But if you could examine the goods they bring
They have little to offer but the songs they sing
And the plentiful waste of time of day a plentiful waste of time

It's a long, long while from May to December but the days grow short when you reach September
When the autumn weather turns the leaves to flame one hasn't got time for the waiting game
The days dwindle down to a precious few September, November
And these few precious days I'll spend with you these precious days I'll spend with you

As Time Goes By

You must remember this:
A kiss is still a kiss a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply as time goes by.
And when two lovers woo they still say, "I love you."
On that you can rely no matter what the future brings as time goes by.

Moonlight and love songs: never out of date hearts full of passion, jealousy and hate.
Woman needs man, and man must have his mate that no one can deny.
It's still the same old story a fight for love and glory a case of do-or-die.
The world will always welcome lovers as time goes by.

Tiny Machine

I look in my favourite book but there's nothing to tell me a story
And cling to my mother's arms just so they can't take me away
My tiny machine My tiny machine

Down deep down there's much more than a burst of breath
Sometimes you cry and you wonder why you need to beat the rest
I've loved you since I knew what it meant
But to think of it now I'll love you till I'm dead
My tiny machine My tiny machine

They say that they love me in heaven they say that they'll be waiting for me
They say that they love me in heaven but I can't take a look just to see
I look in my favourite book but there's nothing to tell me a story
And cling to my mother's arms just so they can't take me away
My tiny machine My tiny machine
My tiny machine My tiny machine
My tiny machine Machine

Transformers

The Transformers more than meets the eye
The Transformers robots in disguise The Transformers
Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of The Decepticons.
The Transformers more than meets the eye The Transformers

Transformers
Something evil's watching over you coming from the sky above and there's nothing you can do
Prepare to strike, there'll be no place to run when you're caught within the grip of the evil Unicron
Transformers more than meets the eye
Transformers Robots in disguise

Strong enough to break the bravest heart so we have to pull together no, we can't stay worlds apart
To stand divided we will surely fall until our darkest hour when the light will save us all
Transformers more than meets the eye
Transformers Robots in disguise
Transformers Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons
Transformers Transform

It's judgment day and now we've made our stand
And for now the powers of darkness have been driven from our land
The battle's over but the war has just begun
And this way it will remain til the day when all are one

The Transformers more than meets the eye
The Transformers robots in disguise The Transformers
Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of The Decepticons.
The Transformers more than meets the eye The Transformers

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in the half shell Turtle Power!

They're the world's most fearsome fighting team
They're heroes in a half shell and they're green 
When the evil Shredder attacks
These turtle boys don't cut him no slack
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Splinter taught them to be ninja teens
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines
Raphael is cool but (c)rude
Michelangelo is a party dude
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in the half shell Turtle Power!

ThunderCats

Lion-O:
Thunder, thunder  Thunder, Thundercats, ho

Thundercats are on the move Thundercats are loose
Feel the magic hear the roar Thundercats are loose
Thunder, thunder  Thunder, Thundercats
Thunder, thunder  Thunder, Thundercats
Thunder, thunder  Thunder, Thundercats
Thunder, thunder  Thunder, Thundercats 
Thundercats

Bucky O'Hare

In another dimension, another time and space, a parallel universe is falling on its face.
From out of the chaos, who else would it be, but the animal adventurers of S.P.A.C.E..
Bucky! Captain Bucky 'O'Hare. Mutants and aliens and toads beware.

If you're looking for adventure, well, this is it. With Jenny, Dead-Eye, Binky and Willy DuWitt.
Bucky! Captain Bucky O'Hare.
Andy Phibian speaking: And now an update on Bucky O'Hare and the Toad Wars.

In the Battle for the Aniverse, you don't know what's next. 
You only know amphibians have made it complex.
If you check out your scanner and the evil that it bodes, 
There's only one course of action: Let's croak us some toads.
Bucky! Captain Bucky O'Hare. He goes where no ordinary rabbit would dare.

If the Righteous Indignation has suffered a hit and the photon accelerator is broken a bit
And you're losing and mind and you're having a fit, get the funky fresh rabbit who can take care of it.
Bucky! Captain Bucky O'Hare. You said Bucky? I said Bucky. Bucky O'Hare!
Let's croak us some toads.

Samurai Pizza Cats

Would somebody please cue that bird?
Samurai Pizza Cats
Who do you call when you want some pepperoni?
Samurai Pizza Cats
They're stepping out crime, and you know that ain't balony

There's Speedy Cerviche, he's the leader of the bunch
A heck of a fighter makes a heck of a lunch.
And little Polly Esther who's never afraid of going into battle when the bad guys invade.
Here's Guido Anchovy a wild romantic rover this cat gets down down with a love hangover
Here come the Pizza Cats they're so bad.
They've got more fur than any turtle ever had!
They're stronger than old cheese stronger than dirt...
Step on their tails and you're gonna get hurt...
Samurai Pizza Cats they're fighting crime all over town!

Four... Three... Two... One...
The Pizza Cats are on the run!
The Big Cheese is the villain, who's lower than low.
It's a rotten shame he lives in Little Tokyo.
We've got a nasty Bad Bird and some nasty Ninja Crowes.
As soon as someone finds the script we might begin the show.
Sit back and rest your feet and turn the sound up high.
And if you want the full effects go eat a pizza pie!

The Pizza Cats are Samurai, and I'd like to note:
Their antics take your breath away like fur balls in your throat
We kittens are a special breed we never call retreat.
Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down we land upon our feet.
So hail to thee Pizza Cats please ring your little bell.
Although you may be pen and ink we know you'll fight like Pizza Cats!

Samurai Pizza Cats we hope you liked the show, it's the best that we could do
Samurai Pizza Cats if you could do better, then we'd leave it up to you
Just a reminder, you might like to know the cats will be back for another big show.
Samurai Pizza Cats they're fighting crime all over town.
Two, four, six, eight why do we expectorate?
Samurai Pizza Cats read all the credits, so you'll know who did the work.
Samurai Pizza Cats.

Uzun İnce Bir Yoldayım

I'm on a long narrow road I am going day and night

I have no clue what kind of condition I am in I am going day and night

 As soon as I was born I started walking at the same time

Two doored inns I am going day and night

Even in my sleep I am walking I am trying to find a reason to stay

I see everyone constantly leaving I am going day and night

Forty nine years on these roads the flat mountains in the desert

I have fallen into the hands of homesickness I am going day and night

Deep thoughts until I see the distant

The amount of minutes on one road I am going day and night

 Veysel is in a confused condition sometimes crying sometimes gone

 To reach the end I am going day and night

Uskudara

When going to Uskudar a rain occurs
The coat of my clerk is long his heels are covered in mud
The clerk is mine and I am his will mingle other
A lame jacket will look great in my clerk
When going to Uskudar , the grocer around the corner pencil in hand, had its accounts
The clerk is mine and I am his will mingle other a starched shirt also go to rob my clerk
In the hands of my clerk , a canary cage the fez my cleric is too small for him

The cleric is willing, he will marry
The clerk is mine and I am his will mingle other a starched shirt also go to rob my clerk

When going to Uskudar I found a handkerchief I filled out the handkerchief loukoums
When looking for my clerk, I found by my side
The clerk is mine and I am his will mingle other a fragrant shirt also go to rob my clerk
The clerk walks arm in arm the words of my clerk move me
The letters of my clerc are in my pockets
The clerk is mine and I am his will mingle other a starched shirt also go to rob my clerk

When I going to Uskudar my bundle caught fire my cord is pulled my watch fell
The womanizing Uskudar are chasing me
The clerk is mine and I am his will mingle other a starched shirt also go to rob my clerk
The boats from Uskudar in Istanbul
My clerk is sitting he dissects hazelnuts in his dream the clerk about me aloud
The clerk is mine and I am his will mingle other a starched shirt also go to rob my clerk

Whiskey River

Whiskey River take my mind don't let her memory torture me.
Whiskey River don't run dry you're all I've got, take care of me.
Whiskey River take my mind don't let her memory torture me.
Whiskey River don't run dry you're all I've got, take care of me.

I'm drowning in a whiskey river bathing my memoried mind in the wetness of its soul.
Feeling the amber current flowing from my mind and warm an empty heart you left so cold. 
Whiskey River take my mind don't let her memory torture me.
Whiskey River don't run dry you're all I've got, take care of me.

I'm drowning in a whiskey river bathing my memoried mind in the wetness of its soul.
Feeling the amber current flowing from my mind and warm an empty heart you left so cold. 
Whiskey River take my mind don't let her memory torture me.
Whiskey River don't run dry you're all I've got, take care of me.

Lucifer The Prophecy

I am who through the gales dark flame Divine spreads with the hollow northern bell's deaf agony
Who through dark mountains lights the red dawn's shine fro' sparks of pain and star of lethargy
I king of comets  yet swirls my spirit violent like desert dust a pyramid of wind
I storm of thunders yet more than grave I'm silent hiding my tombs' morbidity within

I rainbow abyss - yet would bewail my sorrow like chilly winds play withered reed on lakes
I glow of aethnas yet through the miry plains mourning and dull as funeral I follow
The oceans play their harps swirl fires of Paradise make the Sun 
My enemy the Sun praise God and rise

Let's Call The Whole Thing Off

Things have come to a pretty pass our romance is growing flat
For you like this and the other while I go for this and that
Goodness knows what the end will be I don't know where I'm at
It looks as if we two will never be one something must be done

You say either and I say either You say neither and I say neither
Either, either, neither, neither let's call the whole thing off
You like potato and I like potahto You like tomato and I like tomahto
Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto let's call the whole thing off
But if we call the whole thing off then we must part
And if we ever part, then that might break my heart

So if you like pajamas and I like pajamas I'll wear pajamas and give up pajamas
For we know we need each other so we better call the whole thing off
Let's call the whole thing off
You say laughter and I say laughter You say after and I say after
Laughter, laughter, after, after let's call the whole thing off
You like vanilla and I like vanilla You sarsaparilla, and I sarsaparilla
Vanilla, vanella, chocolate, strawberry let's call the whole thing off
But if we call the whole thing off, then we must part
And if we ever part, then that might break my heart

So if you go for oysters and I go for ersters I'll order oysters and cancel the ersters
For we know we need each other so we better call the calling off off
Let's call the whole thing off
I say father, and you say pater I saw mother and you say mater
Pater, mater, uncle, auntie let's call the whole thing off
I like bananas and you like bananas I say Havana and I get Havannah
Bananas, banahnahs, Havana, Havannah go your way, I'll go mine
So if I go for scallops and you go for lobsters so, all right, no contest, we'll order lobster
For we know we need each other so we better call the calling off off
Let's call the whole thing off