The Chicken Song

Its the time of year now that Spring is in the air
When those two wet gits with their girly curly hair
Make another song for moronic holidays
That nauseate in a million different ways
From the shores of Spain to the coast of Southern France
No matter where you hide you just can't escape this dance

Hold a chicken in the air stick a deckchair up your nose
Buy a jumbo jet and then bury all your clothes
Paint your left knee green then extract your wisdom teeth
Form a string quartet and pretend your name is Keith
Skin yourself alive learn to speak Arapahoe
Climb inside a dog and behead an eskimo
Eat a Renault Four with salami in your ears
Casserole your gran disembowel yourself with spears

The disco is vibrating the sound is loud and grating its truly nauseating let's do the dance again
Hold a chicken in the air stick a deckchair up your nose
You'll hear this song in the holiday discos and there's no escape in the clubs or in the bars
You would hear this song if you holidayed in Mars
Skin yourself alive learn to speak Arapahoe
Climb inside a dog and behead an eskimo
Now you've heard it once your brain will spring a leak
And though you hate this song you'll be humming it for weeks
Hold a chicken in the air stick a deckchair up your nose
Buy a jumbo jet and then bury all your clothes