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Wednesday 28 December 2022

Wheatus Tribute EP

 Teenage Dirtbag

Her name is Noelle I have a dream about her
She rings my bell I got gym class in half an hour
How she rocks in Keds and tube socks
But she doesn't know who I am
And she doesn't give a damn about me
Because I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby
I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby
Listen to Iron Maiden, baby, with me

Her boyfriend's a dick and he brings a gun to school
And he'd simply kick my ass if he knew the truth
He lives on my block and he drives an IROC
But he doesn't know who I am
And he doesn't give a damn about me
Because I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby
I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby
Listen to Iron Maiden, baby, with me

Dirtbag she doesn't know what she's missing
I feel like mold it's prom night and I am lonely
Lo and behold she's walking over to me
This must be fake my lip starts to shake
How does she know who I am?
And why does she give a damn about me?
I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby
Come with me Friday, don't say maybe
I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby, like you
Dirtbag she doesn't know what she's missing

Punk Ass Bitch

She wriggles and she wraggles she jiggles and she jaggles
You stand and watch her pass by your line of vision ass-eye
You think that cause she smiles that you turn all her dials
But you don't see them later while in the elevator
You nag her and you swagger you think you're gonna shag her
A man about the town get funky, let's get down
Machismo and machasma it turns into miamsa
But you have got no class, no style no social skills, no comprehension
I can't deal with this idiot I must admit that he's a punk ass bitch

You open up your mouth amazed at what comes out
It's just a testimony that you're full of bologna
That you're a stupid shit-ass a meathead, guido, pass-gas
That you have got no class, no style no social skills, no comprehension
I can't deal with this idiot I must admit that he's a punk ass bitch

You know you want to spangle but you can't seem to angle
One gives you attitude your reason to be rude
You think that cause she smiles that you turn all her dials
But you don't see them later while in the elevator
You nag her and you swagger you think you're gonna shag her
A man about the town get funky, let's get down
Machismo and machasma it turns into miamsa
You have got no class, no style no social skills, no comprehension
You open up your mouth amazed at what comes out
It's just a testimony that you're full of bologna
That you're a stupid shit-ass a meathead, guido, pass gas
But you have got no class, no style no social skills, no comprehension
I can't deal with this idiot I must admit that he's a punk ass bitch

Wannabe Gangstar

I am a wannabe you better be careful around me
I come from far away, where mustang dreams are made
And we are fashioned in the image of the Don's who have come before us
We all kiss the rings of sand like our fathers told us.

Because I'm a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack
I'm a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack
I'm a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack, better go back to far away.

Like a lemon pie a la mode, my nine is easy to load 
All hail Jericho Turnpike Teck that's where I go 
To learn the things about the universe I'll need so I can build a stamped 
Because I'm all up in your face again, I'm all up in your face.

A wannabe gangstar, a victim of the chromosome prankster
I thanks ya, I sits back in my chair to contemplate my hair
DAMN, I reek of cologne but yo I'm lookin' snappy, I'm nappy, 
I'm crappy, got jimmy hats from pappy so now I'm trigger happy
Girl did he just rhyme 'crappy' with 'happy'?
So you girlies wanna get wit this nit wit, got Cheese Whiz or not?
Then I'm a hafta blow up ya mail box BIATCH or toilet paper ya front yard 
Show the cops my Suburbs Card they gotta let me go because they know that I'm hard
It's the deal it's for real, ya betta listen to what I'm tellin' ya because I'm a wannabe gangstar

The London Sun

Socrates ain't got nothin on me when it comes to overthinking
Paranoid, is how I prefer to be into the ground I'm sinking
Then you call, and you say, in your ordinary way that you can't help me out of the ordinary

You're just like the London sun you're over and done with before you've begun
And I won't be like the only one who would stand here and smile and try to be fun when I say
What went wrong we go back to beginnings of stories too long to be told
Like you were the only one who ever got left in the dark by the London sun.

Hurricanes are blowing out my brains but my eyes are calm and hollow
Air plane stalls from the sky it falls you can read the news tomorrow
Then you call, Then you call, and you say, and you say, in your ordinary way 
That your life, that your life, with me has become too fucking ordinary

Leave if you want to leave it's alright I know what it's like to feel like....
Life is passing by and you are stuck in the place you're in,
Ordinary space you're in, stuck out of luck in this place that I'm stuck in with YOU.

You And Your Stoopid Guitar

They said lets go to the show, can't wait to see them I love that video.
Lets catch the opening band Matt said the singers this girl with long red hair
But when she started to play that's when he got in her way and he was not Brian May.
And I kept trying to hear her because I thought maybe she'd have something to say
But you kept running her over chasing the fucking spotlight around the stage
You think you're so ill and you're all up in my grill you and your stoopid guitar.

Ever since I was a kid wanted to play on a six string like they did
And join a travelling band could have conquered the world with my left hand
And I then I'd sit back and swing so that the singer could sing because that was always her thing.
But I'm still trying to hear her because I thought maybe she'd have something to say
And you're still running her over chasing that fucking spotlight around the stage
You think you're so ill and you're all up in my grill you and your stoopid guitar.

I'd say nobody plays it like they used to just saying nobody plays it quite as bad as I do
Not saying nobody plays me like they used too nobody plays, nobody plays

Satan's Orders

I'm awaiting Satan's orders and he's dragged me through the mud tonight
If I thought about it sooner I'd complain as much as he does
But I wait instead little you in my head
Like the fireflies refused to light the way

We're awaiting Satan's orders I think we're headed out tonight
For some Harry karaoke with some suicidal singers
Wait instead little you in my head
Like the firefly refused to light the way

Like the time I caught that turtle didn't know he was a dinosaur
Had I thought about it sooner I would still have all my fingers
We should wait instead little you in your head
Like the firefly refused to light the way

I refuse to light the way
I refuse to light the way
I refuse to light the way
I refuse to light the way

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