Le Gorille

It was through strong iron railings

That the females of the district

Weighed up a strapping gorilla

Unworried what people will say

With no shame, these nosey women

Even goggled one precise spot

Which my mother has quite strictly 

Forbidden me to mention here

Beware of the gorilla !

All at once, the tight-shut prison

In which the fine animal lived

Opens, we don’t know why (I think

They must not have closed the door right)

The ape, coming out of his cage

Said “Today’s the day I lose it”

Talking of his virginity

You have already guessed, I hope

Beware of the gorilla !

The boss of the menagerie

Shouted frantically « Good Heavens ! 

That’s awkward because the gorilla 

Has never known female monkey".

As soon as the feminine mob

Knew that the ape was a virgin

Instead of cashing in on their luck

They ran at full speed on their pins

Beware of the gorilla

The very same ones who, just now

Were wilfully fancying him

Fled, proving that they had hardly

Any consistency of thought.

All the more vain was their fear

As gorillas are quite funky

Superior to man in embraces.

Many women will vouch for that.

Beware of the gorilla

Everyone rushes off from

The attack of the ape on heat

Except one senile lady

And a young judge standing firm.

Seeing all the girls escaping

The beast on four paws went faster

Waddling straight to the two dresses 

Of the old woman and the judge.

Beware of the gorilla

« Ah » sighed the hundred year old  

That I might still be desirable

Would be weird and wonderful 

And, frankly quite unexpected. »

The judge expressionless thought

« For me to be deemed a she-ape

That’s completely impossible »

The next events proved him wrong.

Beware the gorilla !

Suppose one of you men might be,

As the ape was obliged to

Rape a judge or very old lady 

Which would he choose of the two

Should a similar alternative

One of these days fall to me

It is the old gran, I’m convinced

Who’ll be the object of my choice.

Beware of the gorilla.

But, sadly, if the gorilla

In games of love earns his rating

We know though that he does not shine

In his taste or his intellect

So, instead of choosing the old gran

As anybody else would have done

He grabbed the judge by the ear

And dragged him into the brushwood.

Beware the gorilla

What follows would be delightful

Unfortunately, I cannot

Tell it and that’s regrettable

That would’ve made us laugh a little

For the judge, at the supreme moment

Yelled out “Mamma!” and cried a lot

Like the man whom, that very day

He had had decapitated.

Beware the gorilla!