LEVI'S MONKEY MIKE

Now Mr. Levi always liked an animal or two,
And if you went into his house you'd think it was a zoo!
He went and bought a monkey and you never saw the like,
It came from Tipperary so they call that monkey Mike.
Levi's Monkey Mike, what a funny creature,
He went into the church one day and bit the local preacher.
The organist, as stiff as starch joined the rest at Marble Arch;
Who was it played the wedding march? 
Levi's Monkey Mike!

You've heard about a Captain who has just gained great renown,
He played his ukulele while the ship was going down. 
But some of you may not have heard the most important fact
Of someone who was there and did a very gallant act!
It was Levi's Monkey Mike, with that good ship he was sailing,
A life upon the ocean waves had always been his failing a fact we know is very plain,
The ship went down in the angry main; who was it pulled it up again? 
Levi's Monkey Mike!

A poor old maiden went to bed, as poor old maidens will,
She dreamt about a nice young man who's christian name was Bill.
She looked so sweet and peaceful as she lay there, I declare,
And through the open window came a great big bunch of hair!
It was Levi's Monkey Mike, the cheeky little duffer,
He chewed up all her lipstick and he pinched her powder puffer.
When in her dream she acted queer and whispered, "Darling, bite my ear!",
Who was it answered, "All right dear!", 
Levi's Monkey Mike!

Now once we had a parliament but it would never go,
So they filled it up with animals out of a wild beast show.
The lion was Prime Minister, to swank he was disposed;
They wanted a Lord Chancellor, so somebody proposed
Levis Monkey Mike, and he proved quite a good'n,
He taxed the laces in our boots and taxed our Christmas pudding'.
Now working man, just give a fear should be cheer?
We're all right now, so never fear,who's going to take the tax off beer? 
Levi's Monkey Mike!