Fake Tales Of San Francisco
Fake Tales of San Francisco echo through the room
More point to a wedding disco without a bride or groom
There's a super cool band with their trilbies and their glasses of white wine
And all the weekend rockstars in the toilets practicing their lines
I don't want to hear you (Kick me out, kick me out)
I don't want to hear you (Kick me out, kick me out)
I don't want to hear you (Kick me out, kick me out)
I don't want to hear you I don't want to hear your
Fake Tales of San Francisco echo through the air
And there's a few bored faces at the back all wishing they weren't there
And as the microphone squeaks a young girl's telephone beeps
She's dashing for the exit she's running to the streets outside
You've saved me she screams down the line the band were fucking wank and I'm not having a nice time
I don't want to hear you (Kick me out, kick me out)
I don't want to hear you (Kick me out, kick me out)
But his bird said it's amazing, though so all that's left
Is the proof that love's not only blind but deaf
He talks of San Francisco, he's from Hunters Bar
I don't quite know the distance but I'm sure that's far I'm sure it's pretty far
I'd love to tell you all my problem
You're not from New York City, you're from Rotherham
So get off the bandwagon, and put down the handbook
Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook
Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook
Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook
Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook
Mardy Bum
Well now then Mardy Bum I've seen your frown and it's like looking down the barrel of a gun
And it goes off and out come all these words there's a very pleasant side to you a side I much prefer
It's one that laughs and jokes around remember cuddles in the kitchen to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away but it's right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you're all argumentative and you've got the face on
Well now then Mardy Bum I'm in trouble again, aren't I thought as much because you turned over there
Pulling that silent disappointment face the one that I can't bear
Well can't we just laugh and joke around remember cuddles in the kitchen to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away but it's right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you're all argumentative and you've got the face on
And I'm sorry I was late but I missed the train and then the traffic was a state
And I can't be arsed to carry on in this debate that reoccurs, when you say I don't care
But of course I do I clearly do
So laugh and joke around remember cuddles in the kitchen to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away but it's right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you're all argumentative and you've got the face on
Crying Lightning
Outside the cafe by the cracker factory you were practicing a magic trick
And my thoughts got rude as you talked and chewed on the last of your pick and mix
Said you're mistaken if you're thinking that I haven't been called cold before
As you bit into your strawberry lace and then offered me your attention in the form of a gobstopper
It's all you had left and it was going to waste
Your pastimes consisted of the strange and twisted and deranged
And I love that little game you had called Crying Lightning
And how you'd like to aggravate the ice-cream man on rainy afternoons
The next time that I caught my own reflection it was on its way to meet you
Thinking of excuses to postpone you never looked like yourself from the side
But your profile could not hide the fact you knew I was approaching your throne
With folded arms you occupied the bench like toothache
Stood and puffed your chest out like you'd never lost a war
And though I tried so not to suffer the indignity of reaction there was no cracks to grasp or gaps to claw
And your pastimes consisted of the strange and twisted and deranged
And I hate that little game you had called Crying Lightning
And how you'd like to aggravate the icky man on rainy afternoons
Uninviting, but not half as impossible as everyone assumes you are Crying Lightning
You were reading a book about some idiot and telling me about another
I was so severely underwhelmed I thought I might never recover
Straighten the rudder and sail me upstairs and go and find somebody who cares
Well, we might not be the perfect partners but tonight we make a pair
Your pastimes consisted of the strange and twisted and deranged
And I hate that little game you had called Crying Lightning
Don't Sit Down Because I've Moved Your Chair
Break a mirror roll the dice
Run with scissors through a chip pan fire fight
Go into business with a grizzly bear
But just don't sit down because I've moved your chair
Find a well known hardman and start a fight
Wear your shell suit on bonfire night
Fill in a circular hole with a peg that's square
But just don't sit down because I've moved your chair
Bite the lightning and tell me how it tastes
Kung Fu fighting on your roller skates
Do the Macarena in the devil's lair
But just don't sit down because I've moved your chair
Do I Wanna Know?
Have you got colour in your cheeks do you ever get that fear that you can't shift
The type that sticks around like summat in your teeth are there some aces up your sleeve?
Have you no idea that you're in deep I dreamt about you nearly every night this week
How many secrets can you keep because there's this tune I found that makes me think
Of you somehow and I play it on repeat until I fall asleep spilling drinks on my settee
(Do I wanna know?) If this feeling flows both ways?
(Sad to see you go) Was sort of hoping that you'd stay
(We both know) That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day
Crawling back to you
Ever thought of calling when you've had a few because I always do
Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new now I've thought it through
Crawling back to you
So have you got the guts?
Been wondering if your heart's still open and if so I wanna know what time it shuts
Simmer down and pucker up
I'm sorry to interrupt. It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you
I don't know if you feel the same as I do
But we could be together if you wanted to
Four Out Of Five
Advertise in imaginative ways start your free trial today
Come on in, the water's lovely look, you could meet someone you like
During the meteor strike it is that easy
Lunar surface on a Saturday night dressed up in silver and white
With coloured "Old Grey Whistle Test" lights
Take it easy for a little while come and stay with us
It's such an easy flight cute new places keep on popping up since the exodus it's all getting gentrified
I put a taqueria on the roof it was well reviewed four stars out of five and that's unheard of
Mr. Bridge and Tunnel on the starlight express the head of special effects in my mind's eye
Hokey Cokey with the opposite sex the things you try to forget doesn't time fly?
I'm in no position to give advice I don't wanna be nice and you know that
Take it easy for a little while come and stay with us it's such an easy flight
Cute new places keep on popping up around Clavius it's all getting gentrified
The Information-Action Ratio is the place to go and you will not recognise the old headquarters
All the nights that never happened and the days that don't exist
At the Information-Action Ratio only time that we stop laughing is to breathe or steal a kiss
I can get you on the list for all the clubs I can lift you up another semitone
Take it easy for a little while come and stay with us it's such an easy flight
Cute new places keep on popping up since the exodus it's all getting gentrified
The Information-Action Ratio is the place to go four stars out of five
Take it easy for a little while come and stay with us now, it's such an easy flight
Cute new places keep on popping up around Clavius it's all getting gentrified
I put a taqueria on the moon The Information-Action Ratio it got rave reviews four stars out of five
Take it easy for a little while come and stay with us four stars out of five
Alex Turner Brit Awards 2014 Speech
That rock 'n'roll, eh? That rock'n'roll, it just won't go away. It might hibernate from time to time, and sink back into the swamp. I think the cyclical nature of the universe in which it exists demands it adheres to some of its rules.But it's always waiting there, just around the corner ready to make its way back through the sludge and smash through the glass ceiling, looking better than ever.That rock'n'roll, it seems like it's faded away sometimes, but it will never die and there's nothing you can do about it.
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