Margaritaville
Nibbling on sponge cake watching the sun bake all of those tourists covered with oil
Strumming my six-string on my front-porch swing smell those shrimp they're beginning to boil
Wasting away again in Margaritaville searching for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame but I know it's nobody's fault
Don't know the reason stayed here all season with nothing to show but this brand-new tattoo
But it's a real beauty a Mexican cutie how it got here I haven't a clue
Wasting away again in Margaritaville searching for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame now I think Hell it could be my fault
I blew out my flip-flop stepped on a pop top cut my heel, had to cruise on back home
But there's booze in the blender and soon it will render that frozen concoction that helps me hang on
Wasting away again in Margaritaville searching for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame but I know, it's my own damn fault
And some people claim that there's a woman to blame and I know, it's my own damn fault
Cheeseburger In Paradise
Tried to amend my carnivorous habits made it nearly seventy days losing weight without speed
Eating sunflower seeds drinking lots of carrot juice and soaking up rays
But at night I'd have these wonderful dreams some kind of sensuous treat
Not zucchini, fettuccini, or bulgur wheat but a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat
Cheeseburger in paradise heaven on earth with an onion slice
Not too particular, not too precise I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise
Heard about the old-time sailor men they eat the same thing again and again
Warm beer and bread they say could raise the dead well it reminds me of the menu at a Holiday Inn
But times have changed for sailors these days when I'm in port I get what I need
Not just Havanas or bananas, or daiquiris but that American creation on which I feed
Cheeseburger in paradise medium rare with Muenster'd be nice
Heaven on Earth with an onion slice I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise
I like mine with lettuce and tomato Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer well, good God Almighty, which way do I steer
For my cheeseburger in paradise making the best of every virtue and vice
Worth every damn bit of sacrifice to get a cheeseburger in paradise
To be a cheeseburger in paradise I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise
I like mine with lettuce and tomato Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer well, good God Almighty, which way do I steer?
The Captain And The Kid
I never used to miss the chance to climb up on his knee
Listen to the many tales of life upon the sea
We'd go sailing back on barkentines and talk of things he did
Tomorrow just a day away for the captain and the kid
His world had gone from sailing ships to raking mom's backyard
He never could adjust to land, although he tried so hard
We both were growing older then, wiser with our years
That's when I came to understand the course his heart still steered
He died about a month ago, while winter filled the air
And though I cried, I was so proud to love a man so rare
He's somewhere on the ocean now, a place he ought to be
With one hand on the starboard rail, he's waving back at me
I never used to miss the chance to climb up on his knee
Listen to the many tales of life upon the sea
We'd go sailing back on barkentines and talk of things he did
Tomorrow just a day away for the captain and the kid
For the captain and this kid
Everybody's Got A Cousin In Miami
It was ninety miles to freedom but they took the risk
Though the ocean was all motion and the wind was brisk
The deadly gunboats never saw them in the pale moonlight
They were off to Cayo Hueso by the dawns early light
The gringo in the garden called the customs man
They answered all his questions, were allowed to land
The ladies shared a hairbrush and their husbands had a coke
Then they were taken up to Krome to meet with their kin folk
Everybody's got a cousin in Miami everybody understands the impromptu
Dancing in the heat to the beat that turns your clothing clammy
Everybody needs to have a dream come true
In a third world jungle not so far away
Lives a natural drummer with a dream to play
He's the brother of the lizard and the flying fish
But he's been enchanted by the pictures from the satellite dish
So his mama packs his bags, knots his red neck tie
Sends him north to her relations with a kiss good-bye
He's bewildered by the plane ride and the immigration line
Until he sees his Christian name upon a cardboard sign
Everybody's got a cousin in Miami everybody is an Aborigine
Dancing in the heat to the beat that turns your clothing clammy
Everybody wants to win that lottery
It's hard to believe the city started as a trading post
Home to the Seminole, pirate and pioneer
Between the river of grass and the old mosquito coast
Before the railroad claimed the southernmost frontier
I am umbilically connected to the temperate zone
It brought me life, it brought me love I never have outgrown
It brought me one too many nights along that Biscayne shore
And one too many mornings in the Grove Drug Store
In one way or the other we're all refugees
Living out this easy life below the banyan trees
Smoothing off the rougher edges of the culture clash
We got a style, we got a look we got that old panache
Everybody's got a cousin in Miami everybody understands the impromptu
Dancing in the heat to the beat that turns your clothing clammy
Everybody needs to have a dream come true
Too Drunk To Karaoke
Last night at the bar it was karaoke night everybody down there was feeling all right
They got big margarita pitchers, two-for-one they were feeling footloose and ready for some fun
When I signed up, I was ready to go but they didn't call my name for an hour or so
Damned if they didn't make me wait too long I was in no kind of shape to sing a Jon Bon song.
Too drunk to karaoke too drunk to karaoke if you keep on drinking you're gonna be
Too drunk to karaoke, just like me too drunk to karaoke too drunk to karaoke
Well, the place got rocking temptation was strong
All the pretty girls kept a egging me on
Well, I shoulda kept my flip-flops glued to the chair
But no, I jumped right up and slicked back my hair
Well you can sing and shout ‘til you sound real good
You can terrorize the whole damn neighborhood
But when you hit that stage with that mic in your hand
You better pace yourself, son, if you wanna have fans
Too drunk to karaoke too drunk to karaoke if you keep on drinking you're gonna be
Too drunk to karaoke, just like me too drunk to karaoke too drunk to karaoke
If you ask me, hell, I killed that song
When I looked around, everybody was gone
Except a couple of bouncers 'bout half my age
They grabbed the microphone and threw me off the stage
You're too drunk to karaoke, that's what they told me
You're too drunk to karaoke, how can that be?
You don't have to be good, don't have to be refined
You just have to be a legend in your own mind
Don't have to rehearse, or even sing on key
Just prove that theory of drunkativity
Too drunk to karaoke too drunk to karaoke if you keep on drinking you're gonna be
Too drunk to karaoke, just like me too drunk to karaoke too drunk to karaoke
Why Don't We Get Drunk
I really do appreciate the fact you're sitting here
Your voice sounds so wonderful but your face don't look too clear
So, Barmaid, bring a pitcher, another round of brew
Why don't we get drunk and screw
Why don't we get drunk and screw
I just bought a waterbed filled up for me and you
They say you are a snuff queen I don't think that's true
So, why don't we get drunk and screw
Why don't we get drunk and screw
I just bought a waterbed filled up for me and you
They say you are a snuff queen I don't think that's true
So, why don't we get drunk and screw
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